Do you love Him?

If I were to ask you “Do you love God?” what would you say? I believe most readers would respond with a resounding “Yes!” But what if I asked you to read John 14:15 before answering that question?

John 14:15 says, “If you love Me, keep My commandments.” Do you keep His commandments? Perhaps you don’t get drunk, you don’t swear, and you don’t watch pornography. Or perhaps you point to the fact that you have been in church your whole life and you went to a Christian college. That’s great! You are avoiding some sins, and you have a solid foundation. However, there are a lot more commands to follow then just these. God also commands us to not gossip (Leviticus 19:16; Proverbs 11:13), to be holy (1 Peter 1:16), and to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind (Matthew 22:37) In fact, the next verse says, “this is the first and greatest commandment” (22:38). If we say that we love God but do not strive to keep all His commandments then do we really love Him?

I want to briefly explain what I don’t mean when I am asking “Do you love God?” The world has changed the word love, and it has naturally affected our understanding of the word. We say things such as “I love that movie” or “I love my car” or “I love this book”; however, if you read through 1 Corinthians 13 you will realize pretty quickly that you don’t really love any of those things. You enjoy them or appreciate them perhaps, but you don’t love them the way the Bible defines love. We are not called to enjoy or appreciate God with all our heart, soul, and mind (although we should and will if we love God), but we are called to love God.

On several occasions I have heard preachers pray from the pulpit and say something to the extent of, “God, we all love You…” I remember one time in particular that I listened to a sermon which I genuinely enjoyed. But when it came to his concluding prayer the pastor said, “We all love You.” That is a nice thought, but it is not true. It is a very bold statement to make, especially when you are praying in front of 4,000 people. Perhaps if he was using a different definition of love he may be right (though I still doubt it), but we are not called to love with the worldly definition of love. This begs the question: How are we commanded to love God?

The Greek word used for love in Matthew 22:37 was agapē. This is the “highest form of love.”[i] Agapē love is not an emotional love, it is a love of choice. It is self-sacrificial. It is not a love which loves when it is convenient; when you have agapē love you love no matter what or how you feel.[ii] We are not only supposed to love God when our circumstances are good, or when we pray, or on Sunday mornings. We are not only supposed to love God when we emotionally feel connected to God, but even when we feel disconnected. There is never a time when we are not to obey His greatest commandment.

The same form of love is used in John 3:16, 1 Corinthians 13, and John 14:15. In John 3:16, God gives us an example of agapē love when He sent His Son to die for us. He commands the same love from us for Him.

The question “Do you love God?” becomes a lot harder when you start to understand what it truly means to love God. In fact, loving God seems rather impossible! Of course, for us, truly loving God is impossible. Impossible to love Him in our flesh. I, alone, do not and cannot love the Lord with all my heart, soul, and mind! No matter how badly I want it or how much I try and will it, I can’t.

It is not possible because I am still a sinner. I still have a flesh that is stronger than my own will. I still have sinful desires. The truth is no matter how much I try I cannot do good. All my good deeds are filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). John MacArthur’s commentary on this verse adds that the “filthy rags” were “menstrual cloths used during a woman’s period.” In other words, our good deeds are the equivalent of used menstrual cloths. Now, this verse is speaking to unbelievers; however, Isaiah, who was inspired by God to write this verse, stated directly beforehand that “we are all like an unclean thing,” (emphasis mine). We are all unworthy sinners; “There is none righteous, no, not one” (Romans 3:10). The only good in us is God.

When speaking to believers, Christ said, “Apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Earlier in the verse it tells us that we must abide in Him in order to bear fruit. Love is one of those fruits that we will bear if we abide in Him (Galatians 5:22). This shows us that the only way that we as believers can love Him is through abiding in Him. We cannot love Him without Him.

Therefore we, under our own strength, cannot keep His commandments; thus, we, under our own strength, cannot love God. I understand that this is a bleak picture, but it is an accurate picture based on what we have seen in God’s Word. This picture shows our helplessness, and it shows how sinful and how wicked our flesh is, even as believers! Our flesh is not even capable of loving the One who died for us.

You may be thinking, “Yes, but I am a believer, so why are you bringing up my sinfulness?” It is because by looking at how wicked we are and how unworthy we are of Him we see how desperately we need Him. We were all aware of how undeserving of God we were when we got saved, but I perceive that a lot of believers have lost the understanding of how sinful and unworthy they are of being His child. We are saved and we are declared righteous, yes, but not because we are good. It is only because He is good. I believe holding onto that understanding is essential to beginning to truly love Him.

We can love Him, but only if our flesh is completely removed. We need to humble ourselves before God every day knowing that we can only be obedient to Him through Him. Seeing how sinful we are shows us how desperately we need Him in order to be sanctified. As believers we have the power of God to now say no to sin, but we will not say no to sin unless we actively allow the Holy Spirit to take over. Victory comes through God. It is God alone who can transform our wicked heart and our wicked sin nature into something pure and lovely.

So what do we do? We surrender ourselves to Him. We pray fervently for God to change us. We ask, seek, and knock (Matthew 7:7-8) diligently. We must fight the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12). A quote that I have found helpful is by Saint Augustine. He said, “Pray as if everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.” We need to understand that only God can sanctify us, but we also are called to pray steadfastly (Romans 12:12). We are called to keep His commandments (John 14:15; 1 John 2:4). We are called to use our gifts to glorify Him (1 Peter 4:10).

I want to be very clear that we alone cannot become godly men and women. Yes, we are commanded to do all that I mentioned in the previous paragraph, but it is still God doing it in you, not you becoming less wicked. Your flesh will always be wicked. I want to share this paragraph written by Watchman Nee in his book The Normal Christian Life. While discussing walking in the Spirit he says:

 “Living in the Spirit means that I trust the Holy Spirit to do in me what I cannot do myself. This life is completely different from the life I would naturally live of myself. Each time I am faced with a new demand from the Lord, I look to him to do in me what he requires of me. It is not a case of trying but of trusting; not of struggling but of resting in him. If I have a hasty temper, impure thoughts, a quick tongue, or a critical spirit, I shall not set out with a determined effort to change myself, but instead, reckoning myself dead in Christ to these things, I shall look to the Spirit of God to produce in me the needed purity of humility or meekness, confident that he will do so. This is what it means to ‘stand still, and see the salvation of Jehovah, which he will work for you’ (Exodus 14:13).” (Nee, 179-180)

We cannot change ourselves, only He can change us; We must actively trust Him and wait on Him, knowing that He will work in us. We will be held accountable for our actions (Romans 14:10-12), so we must not sit back and do nothing. However, while you work to grow do so with the understanding that “it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).

It is essential that we understand the sinfulness of man to better comprehend the grace and love and goodness of God. I wonder what your answer to my original question would now be? Perhaps you have realized that you “love” Him in the way that the world defines love. Of course, that is not how we are called to love Him. Perhaps you love Him at times, like when you resist temptation (James 1:12). Again, this is only possible through God; however, be encouraged that God is doing a work in you! Truthfully, none of us have reached the fullest extent of love. This is a lifelong pursuit. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it when we grow in our love for Him and know Him more deeply and intimately through our pursuing. Just remember, this is a command, not an option. We all need to pursue agapē love, and I am at the forefront of those who need to pursue it. We also need to always remember we can only truly love Him through Him. We can only obey Him through His working in us. It takes time, it is a fight, we will fail, but we must persevere.

[i] “Agape.” Encyclopedia Britannica, July 16, 2024, https://www.britannica.com/topic/agape  

[ii] “Love-Agape (Greek Word Study).” Precept Austin, 26 July 2023, https://www.preceptaustin.org/love-agape